The New Dick Van Dyke Show


This episode originally aired on October 8, 1972. The series was about Dick Van Dyke's character, the host of a local TV series. Kopell plays a guest, a stuffy highway patrolman who takes his job so seriously that he has no sense of humor whatsoever. Van Dyke agrees to have several drinks on the air as part of a campaign to educate people about the dangers of drunk driving. Of course, things quickly start to go terribly wrong....


Officer Jack Jackson of the Interstate Safety Patrol, stands at attention in the waiting room, making the receptionist (Fannie Flagg) uncomfortable because he's so stiff and humorless. When she offers him a seat, he replies, "Negative." 'Nuff said?



Jackson boasts that he can stand in this fashion for hours in the hot sun.



The show starts with Dick having a few drinks, while Officer Jackson sets up his equipment.



Shortly after Dick fails his breathilizer test, he assures the officer that he feels fine--a split-second before he attempts to sit down, and misses the chair entirely.


Starting to giggle and act very silly, Dick gets up and manages to sit down in the chair, while the unamused officer looks on.



When Officer Jackson asks him some simple questions, Dick gives silly answers, thinking he's being very witty.



A few minutes later, Officer Jackson declares, "I think we might assume at this time that Dick is intoxicated"--the understatement of the year.